Sorry I'm getting this to you late. I fell asleep at 8. Anyway, today was a good day, after the morning.
While I'm getting ready, I realize that I couldn't find the keys to my car. I had to take the mini-van to school. Luckily, I wasn't late. In first hour (civics), nothing significant happened. Same with second hour (CADD). Third hour, we had a quiz (math), and fourth hour we just looked at boring stuff(AP Chem). Fifth hour we got our tests back, I got a 75. God I hate Honors English. And the teacher. 6th hour band was typical. But you don't care about that, you care about how I interacted with other people.
On average, people were nice to me. The 'group' that Cleyton is a part of actually responded when I talked to them this morning. Civics, I really never got the chance to talk much, but the interactions I had were decent. CADD, everyone played pinball. As a joke, I tried to mess up other people's names when they typed them into the high score thing. In retrospect, I really shouldn't have done that. Math was good, since it was a group quiz I got to talk to my partners, and the conversations we had were fine. AP Chem is really boring, but I still try to pay attention. I like the teacher, but I don't like the subject. Rachael is in that class, and she sits next to me. Since her friend who sits next to her wasn't there, she talked to me. My conversations with her always go fine. Lunch, same thing. Honors, I participated in plenty of discussion about how the test she gave had plenty of bullshit questions. The teacher took enough off that I'll get an A- in the class. Band is band, I really have nothing to say about it. Band is probably the most comfortable environment I have, just because no one can really judge each other. Most of my friends are probably in band, including Chris R, Jill and Rachael. After school, I went home and worked on my model roller coaster, then Oliver texted me and invited me over to his house. This is where my day really brightened up. I went there, and I didn't make a fool of myself. I even stayed to eat dinner, and I didn't say or do anything that showed my autism. I went home, and after a long week, crashed at 8:30.
Thank you for reading my blog, and I hope to see you tomorrow.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Day 01, 11-4-10 Introduction
Hello. I could start with my name, you know the whole blindly followed routine of name, age, etc. Actually, I probably should, but I'll only tell you what I need to. You'll learn the rest of the details later.
My name is Tom. I have no nicknames, I'll explain why later. I'm sixteen, turning seventeen in a month. I go to high school in Michigan. And I am slightly autistic. I have the thought process of any average human being, I just have trouble socializing. One main reason is that I am quiet, and I do not speak very clearly. I have been like this my whole life. Because of this, I have trouble talking to people in general. So people do not talk to me. Most people, anyways. I have a few friends. But those few friends are part of big groups, and most of them make no effort to talk to me. I have trouble starting conversations, partly because I am quiet and unclear, but partly because I have absolutely nothing to talk about. Most of the time, those groups talk about stuff they've been to or done in the past, which I wasn't a part of. When they do talk about something I know, any interjection I make is ignored.
Of course, when those "friends" are in those groups, they ignore me as well. However, when I am alone with them, I can talk to them fine, and they talk to me. Besides having to repeat some things because of clarity, my autism doesn't show. I have about 6 friends who relate to this category in some way:
Chris. My oldest and probably best friend at this point. I never see him, though, because he lives in another city. We've been friends since kindergarden. I try to see him whenever I can, which is hardly ever because of the hectic schedule that every damn human being complains about. You know you do. Anyway, we get along great, even though we're polar opposites. He's cool, I'm a nerd. He's athletic, I'm not. I'm musically oriented (I play the piano), he isn't. But we have our similar likes, which has kept us friends after 11 years.
Oliver. My second oldest friend. We have been friends since first grade. In elementary school, we had our own little 'clique' (how sad, we had cliques in elementary school. Our district is so fucked up. Haha.), consisting of him, me, and a few other kids. Of course, we had 'drama,' and we ended up sticking together most of the time. But in 4th grade, I went to an 'advanced' school (worst decision of my life, it screwed me over), and in that same year a kid named Eric moved in. When I came back to my old school, he and Oliver were best friends (they lived in the same street, along with 2 other kids in the 'clique'). Into middle school, they had a new game of making fun of me as much as possible. I, being autistic, would react in a rather immature way. (I wouldn't realize I was autistic until I was in 8th grade.) And our relationship broke down from there. Into high school, I tried hanging out with him, because he was my only remaining 'friend,' because the rest of the group split up. Eventually, I realized he was being a dick, and went off to find a new group of friends. Despite my social retardedness (i hate the word retardation), I sort of found a new group. Oliver and I still talk, and he considers me a friend, which is an improvement I guess.
Chris R. Another Chris. Anyway, Chris is basically the opposite of Oliver. We hated each other all through middle school (he admits he was an asshole), but last year we started talking (his locker is close to mine). We were getting to be better and better friends. Then over the summer, he gets a girlfriend, becomes Drum major of the Marching Band (yes, I'm a band geek), and we start growing apart. We still talk, and I'm friends with his girlfriend aswell. Who just happens to be:
Jill. Jill and I met 2 years ago during a marching band formation. We weren't really friends until last year. Last year, I made the top band of school as a sophmore (only a few a year make it). Of course, all of my 'friends' were in the lower band. Jill saw this and immediately befriended me. We would talk everyday. Then she broke up with her boyfriend, and was sad for awhile. Then we started talking more, she asked for more hugs, and things were better. I even brought her Panera Bread when she was sick. Then I find out that she's been good friends with Chris, and last summer, well, you get the picture. Just as I started to have feelings for her, too.
Cleyton. Cleyton is a little awkward, like me. I met him freshman year, but we didn't really know each other. Then last year, we were in the same Honors English class. That's where we really developed a friendship. We would always walk to class together, go to lunch together, walk back to class together, and sit by each other in class. We had a great friendship, he was basically my best friend, although I wasn't his. He had his little group. To my surprise, however, they accepted me. For awhile. They actually started inviting me to get-togethers, including going out to lunch and the like. Now, though, Cleyton is starting to talk to this one girl. A lot. Thing is, he has a girlfriend. And he's ignoring me when he's with that group I was talking about. None of that group talks to me anymore. Ever. When we're in class, though, we still talk, but not as much.
Rachael. Rachael is the nicest person I've ever met. We met in freshmen year at band. This year, we started hanging out more, or I started hanging out with her, due to the rest of my friends turning a cold shoulder to me. She's in 4 of my classes, and sits next to me in 2. I also sit at her lunch table, mainly because I have no other friends in that lunch. She really has no flaws. But her 'group' does. Her group accepts me, but I only like about half of them. The other half annoys the living hell out of me. I know it sounds bad and judgemental, but I can't help the way I feel. I still talk to them, though. It's forced, but it's better than the treatment I get.
At this point, you're probably thinking this is a sob story. Actually, if anything, I'm angry with the world. Angry at the ignorance, and I'm trying to show the world I have more to me than just A's and autism (with autism comes a massive level of music, math and science abilities, I have no idea why, but I have the highest grade in math and AP chem in my entire grade, and I'm second chair French horn as a junior). I would love to sacrifice some of that intelligence to be able to converse worth a damn, but since God gave me the hand I have (yes, I believe in God), I try to make the best of it. If you think I'm looking for pity, then open your eyes and see that I don't need it. Feel free to ask questions, and I will try to get back to you. Thanks for reading my long rant, and look for my blog tomorrow.
My name is Tom. I have no nicknames, I'll explain why later. I'm sixteen, turning seventeen in a month. I go to high school in Michigan. And I am slightly autistic. I have the thought process of any average human being, I just have trouble socializing. One main reason is that I am quiet, and I do not speak very clearly. I have been like this my whole life. Because of this, I have trouble talking to people in general. So people do not talk to me. Most people, anyways. I have a few friends. But those few friends are part of big groups, and most of them make no effort to talk to me. I have trouble starting conversations, partly because I am quiet and unclear, but partly because I have absolutely nothing to talk about. Most of the time, those groups talk about stuff they've been to or done in the past, which I wasn't a part of. When they do talk about something I know, any interjection I make is ignored.
Of course, when those "friends" are in those groups, they ignore me as well. However, when I am alone with them, I can talk to them fine, and they talk to me. Besides having to repeat some things because of clarity, my autism doesn't show. I have about 6 friends who relate to this category in some way:
Chris. My oldest and probably best friend at this point. I never see him, though, because he lives in another city. We've been friends since kindergarden. I try to see him whenever I can, which is hardly ever because of the hectic schedule that every damn human being complains about. You know you do. Anyway, we get along great, even though we're polar opposites. He's cool, I'm a nerd. He's athletic, I'm not. I'm musically oriented (I play the piano), he isn't. But we have our similar likes, which has kept us friends after 11 years.
Oliver. My second oldest friend. We have been friends since first grade. In elementary school, we had our own little 'clique' (how sad, we had cliques in elementary school. Our district is so fucked up. Haha.), consisting of him, me, and a few other kids. Of course, we had 'drama,' and we ended up sticking together most of the time. But in 4th grade, I went to an 'advanced' school (worst decision of my life, it screwed me over), and in that same year a kid named Eric moved in. When I came back to my old school, he and Oliver were best friends (they lived in the same street, along with 2 other kids in the 'clique'). Into middle school, they had a new game of making fun of me as much as possible. I, being autistic, would react in a rather immature way. (I wouldn't realize I was autistic until I was in 8th grade.) And our relationship broke down from there. Into high school, I tried hanging out with him, because he was my only remaining 'friend,' because the rest of the group split up. Eventually, I realized he was being a dick, and went off to find a new group of friends. Despite my social retardedness (i hate the word retardation), I sort of found a new group. Oliver and I still talk, and he considers me a friend, which is an improvement I guess.
Chris R. Another Chris. Anyway, Chris is basically the opposite of Oliver. We hated each other all through middle school (he admits he was an asshole), but last year we started talking (his locker is close to mine). We were getting to be better and better friends. Then over the summer, he gets a girlfriend, becomes Drum major of the Marching Band (yes, I'm a band geek), and we start growing apart. We still talk, and I'm friends with his girlfriend aswell. Who just happens to be:
Jill. Jill and I met 2 years ago during a marching band formation. We weren't really friends until last year. Last year, I made the top band of school as a sophmore (only a few a year make it). Of course, all of my 'friends' were in the lower band. Jill saw this and immediately befriended me. We would talk everyday. Then she broke up with her boyfriend, and was sad for awhile. Then we started talking more, she asked for more hugs, and things were better. I even brought her Panera Bread when she was sick. Then I find out that she's been good friends with Chris, and last summer, well, you get the picture. Just as I started to have feelings for her, too.
Cleyton. Cleyton is a little awkward, like me. I met him freshman year, but we didn't really know each other. Then last year, we were in the same Honors English class. That's where we really developed a friendship. We would always walk to class together, go to lunch together, walk back to class together, and sit by each other in class. We had a great friendship, he was basically my best friend, although I wasn't his. He had his little group. To my surprise, however, they accepted me. For awhile. They actually started inviting me to get-togethers, including going out to lunch and the like. Now, though, Cleyton is starting to talk to this one girl. A lot. Thing is, he has a girlfriend. And he's ignoring me when he's with that group I was talking about. None of that group talks to me anymore. Ever. When we're in class, though, we still talk, but not as much.
Rachael. Rachael is the nicest person I've ever met. We met in freshmen year at band. This year, we started hanging out more, or I started hanging out with her, due to the rest of my friends turning a cold shoulder to me. She's in 4 of my classes, and sits next to me in 2. I also sit at her lunch table, mainly because I have no other friends in that lunch. She really has no flaws. But her 'group' does. Her group accepts me, but I only like about half of them. The other half annoys the living hell out of me. I know it sounds bad and judgemental, but I can't help the way I feel. I still talk to them, though. It's forced, but it's better than the treatment I get.
At this point, you're probably thinking this is a sob story. Actually, if anything, I'm angry with the world. Angry at the ignorance, and I'm trying to show the world I have more to me than just A's and autism (with autism comes a massive level of music, math and science abilities, I have no idea why, but I have the highest grade in math and AP chem in my entire grade, and I'm second chair French horn as a junior). I would love to sacrifice some of that intelligence to be able to converse worth a damn, but since God gave me the hand I have (yes, I believe in God), I try to make the best of it. If you think I'm looking for pity, then open your eyes and see that I don't need it. Feel free to ask questions, and I will try to get back to you. Thanks for reading my long rant, and look for my blog tomorrow.
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